3. of course i love sex, but i feel uneasy making it the main reason for why people pursue relationhips in life. The argument to "wait until marriage" puts sex so high on a pedestal that love and exploration -- what sex is truly about -- are lost to fear and uncertainty. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Finally, referring to my earlier statement about Christian views on marriage, see the scriptures below it is clear from this that it is human beings who took the beautiful thing God had created and turned it into an oppressive institution and Jesus tried to correct that wrong view. The divorce rate on the other hand increased every year. smh. This pressure makes women more likely to feel ashamed, or worse, damaged, if they "fail" to remain chaste. Today in western culture,marriage, with its requisite legally enforced snares is an affront against God, nature, and society. They cannot be done away with and they cannot be fundamentally changed. The word familia itself derives from the Latin word famulus which means slave, servant. do we lie to ourselves? but honestly, and maybe its just me being defensive of my life choices and beliefs, but you also sound like your lying to yourself. Youre also forced to make compromises that go against your true desires, and your individuality suffers. 3 What are the pros and cons of getting married at 2am? It is rather the selfish self-love the love of ones own comfort and an attempt to secure it for the future due to fear of becoming weak and ugly and incapable..How f-ng romantic is that ??? Also its a pity to use God as a reason for modern society. . Those are just a few of the reasons why it isnt good to live together before marrying. Its not real god sayd in mij Dreamscape Getting merriad is good of you dont get merriad the world Will end in a sec pepol im not kidding. For example, the enslavement of the people via taxation is often sold to them by convincing them that its necessary for wealth redistribution andto take care of the poor, when in actual fact taxation ultimately benefits a small elite because it transfers wealth from the poor and the middle class to the rich by force (leading to widespread and severe inequality), while at the same time robbing them of their independence and freedom. The paradox terms u use like geeeez and humble, look like you are not congruent and try to deceive. They are also more likely to be involved in sexual affairs. And despite the rightwing emphasis on concepts like "purity", having sex does not actually make you a dirty or "impure" person. For the details, read this article. Cohabitation involves more than sharing just the accommodation. Finally, the old and new testament contradict each other because the new testament was brought about as a new order, a cancellation to the legalism and difficulties (as is evidenced in scriptures THROUGHOUT the new testament which talks about removing people from the bondage of the law and all the issues brought about by it) brought about by the old testament because Jesus came to break all those old traditions..so of course, if you think about it logically..they would contradict each other otherwise why would one be called old and the other new? There is no clarity in legal terms as there is for marriage. Not everyone who sets the intention of waiting to have sex until marriage makes it to the proverbial finish line. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. Women were most likely to cite a fear of being unable to cope financially as their biggest reason for not separating, while men were most worried about the impact it would have on the family. "The learning process is the beauty of it," Jett V. told the publication, "Because we waited, we had this full security of knowing that we had our entire lives to learn how to be intimate and that the other person wasn't going anywhere.". None of that applies in a poly setup, which is incredibly liberating. talk about disrespect, love! Were in the process of finally breaking free from thousands of years of enslavement through artificial social constructs, that conflicted in every way with our true nature. How will marriage reform cope with this fact? People are encouraged to stick to a single partner, and to even claim their partners as their exclusive property. This is certainly in line with everything Ive discussed above. A man had the right to sell his daughter. Thank you for the great effort to search for evidence. In other cultures things changed some more. If so, over time, wouldnt reality set in sooner or later and result in deep resentment of the marital partner, thereby undermining the marriage in the long run? When civilization as we know it todaywas enforced on humankind thousands of years ago by the gods, it was founded upon the basis of sexual repression which had the purpose of dividing the human race at the fundamental level of the sexes, so that they would be easier to control, manipulate and enslave. Jane the Virgin's depiction of waiting until marriage paints a much clearer picture especially of those waiting for religious reasons and is one of the few times a celibate character hasnotbeen made into the butt of a joke. WebHere are six reasons why its still smart to wait until marriage to have sex. Men are stronger and can physically wipe out the female sex. ↩. Above all, Freuds attitude toward the spirit seemed to me highly questionable. This often results in a single mom raising a fatherless child. The United States has one of the highest unintended pregnancy rates in the world. Social construct doesnt immediately make something enslaving or bad for a individual. While conservative commentators are happy to assert that waiting until marriage is the best choice for everyone and people who don't wait aren't doing marriage "the right way", sex-positive liberals hesitate to say that having sex before marriage is an equally valid if not better choice for nearly everyone. More adults are now single not because they have made a conscious choice to be so, but because most adults have become so entrenched in their own world that they have forgotten the rest. Make sure you read it before ever deciding to get married, or getting into any kind of (exclusive) relationship! Children will be damaged growing up with parents who fight all the time or when parents are obviously miserable with each other. Our state and federal tax dollars have long been spent promoting "chastity". As you can see from the above examples, women were considered to be nothing more than helpers, servants and essentially slaves, who were theproperty of their owners, lords and masters. Follow any responses to this post through its comments RSS feed. Think how strange it would be to have only one friend. It was certainly plausible, and as a woman in a trusting relationship of 25 years AND having been experiencing the peri-menopausal symptoms physical and psychological, which means emotional and moral (as it pertains to me as a happy Catholic) I can appreciate the quotes. What do we do about reproduction? When you speak of helping someone in the true sense of the word, it means being a free and independent human being who chooses to totally voluntarily help someone else, without obligation. This whole article is awful. So if quoting verses out of the Bible what you havent read from cover to cover gives you enough knowledge to know who God is and what his intentions are then unfortunately my brother I think you will not see the light. Marraige is a contract. I also dont know how else to explain the meaning of the word helper to u as i have clearly shown that to help means to offer assistanceif you are a slave, you cannot OFFER assistance, you must give itGod created women so that they would complement men by their own virtues which men did not possess so they are meant to work together building off each others strengths not bringing one another downthat is what it means to help someone..its just plain englishwhen you help someone, you make their lives better by bringing to the table what they do not have.. But if people truly realized where the concept of marriage comes from and what its realpurpose is, Im sure that they would be repulsed by it. Why make one rule over the other? According to Waiting Till Marriage, an organization that supports abstinence before marriage, around three percent of the Lets remember that lots of mid-life factors affect men too whether it be in response to an off midlife wife or the strain of raising a family and just the stress of the increased responsibilities in the world, though! I just received a nice letter from a 62 year old. And that happens in our love relationships as well.. Its a waste of time to read that book from cover to cover, frankly. I have seen the light actually, thats why Im writing these blog posts. Now to the unmarried[s] and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. They swore by Shamash, Marduk, their king Shamshu-ilu-na, and Sippar. But it is a product of social development. He mainly speaks about fixing our finances and other materialistic stuff. For this The God creates drama of love otherwise love is only soul to soul to connection. Regardless of religiosity, waiting helps the relationship form better communication processes, and these help improve long-term stability and relationship satisfaction, Busby says. Not every marriage is worth saving, and not every person is someone to marry. Being in love with a person is totally different than living with them. I could observe this phenomenon in spiteful spinsters and ascetic moralists. Mark Regnerus, PhD, of the University of Texas, who wasnt involved with the study, says it suggests to him that couples who prioritize sex promptly at the outset of a relationship often find their relationships underdeveloped when it comes to the qualities that make relationships stable and spouses reliable and trustworthy.. Once a couple cohabitates, a momentum When the height of the newlywed phase passes and the married years trickle into decades, a mutual animosity can develop that will And while the old adage tells women that men won't buy the cow if they can get the milk for free, if I'm buying a cow, you can bet I'm going to make sure the milk is to my liking. Its hot because shes excited, and Im glad because Im a feminist. Whether you went to school in a state that teaches abstinence-only education or comprehensive sex ed, you learned that abstinence is the only fail-proof, 100 percent effective way to prevent pregnancy. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, close to 90 percent of people whove ever been married say they have had premarital sex. i can continue on and on. i have a 23 month old and am pregnant with our second child. Brittnee, You cant GET someone to become more confident and secure its something they develop within. Before you start a relationship, you need to know the meaning of real commitment, and part of this is getting married. And it depends on where you are on this planet as traditions still differ around the world. Your desire willbe for yourhusband, yet he will ruleoveryou. I agree, it is VERY DANGEROUS, no matter if you have met the right or wrong woman. Ephesians 5:21 After a child has been born, of course the mother and father should be able to spend time with them, especially for the first few months. While there are benefits, there are also consequences depending on the kind of relationship that youre in. Brough Smyth too remarks that the husband is called the owner of the wife. And there it was basically slavery, as women called their husbands lord and master, just like a slave, and they were bought and sold as property, which in fact they were. 3 What are the pros and cons of getting married at 2am start a relationship, you get... 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