My sin was very subtly (but constantly) pointed out as time went on not to keep me at the feet of Jesus, but to keep me confused and feeling small compared to the kind person calling it out. (What would I have ever done without their helpful insight into my weaknesses?) I thought so too but upon checking this isn't the case. Im sorry, podcast listeners: It was in that same Blue Bottle on a Thursday afternoon that I saw one of the letters Bryan and Kimmy sent me on his laptop screen. I still believed some literal lies told that needed time to unravel to see everything clearly, even after finding out they were lies. He was lying. Itll never fit. But she is, self admittedly, in a bubble when it comes to her upbringing and her family. Sorry not sorry, youre rigur, Just finished episode 4. Something Was Wrong is an Iris Award-winning true-crime docuseries about the discovery, trauma, . We would have this wedding. Neither can you. But I thought this was it I think, and try to control my reaction and feel guilty for expressing my disappointment to the Lord. So.What Else? I was told once by someone who was praying for me that she saw me living behind a fence. Its very real.). So when people tell me I am brave to share my story, Im realizing I dont feel brave at all because it doesnt feel like mine. Its His story of jealousy, of the lengths Hell go to leave the 99 for one. The story is told on a podcast called Something Was Wrong. The story is told on a podcast called Something Was Wrong. Coming to a podcast near you that will knock your winter socks off. Its still happening. Well, apparently he could hear me (oops) and he asked who I was talking to in the bathroom. We find our own ways to ask, Am I enough?. Narcissism 101, my friends. We were something to behold. No bruises to show for their huge act of leaving and tearing their family apart. This makes so much sense to me. Tap it differently and it will sound better. Sara Gonzalez (Lewis) (@spaceandpurpose) Instagram photos and videos spaceandpurpose Follow 173 posts 20.6K followers 207 following Sara Gonzalez (Lewis) Personal blog Health, beauty, funny things Coming January '23: the S&P Podcast! Seriously, DONT. The police have you surrounded. It seeks out keys to their carefully guarded hearts, then handles them with great care until theyre granted full access. The Bishops, OBrians, and Johnsons were your typical, picture-perfect family friends, until a tragedy revealed the cracks right below the surface. I just listened and I want to know too. I have plenty of work I can get done. I was devastated and scrambling to recover whatever Id done wrong. More Than Work. As the numbness wears off and Im pulling old files to compile my story, I read texts with clear eyes. The actual moment my story from The Year that is No More became available to the world via podcast, I was dripping sweat at the gym while blasting Eminem in my ears. It seems easier in the moment, but at what hidden costs? Ive wondered if its an affront to His design when Christians continually refer to themselves and the church as wretched or even sinners saved by grace. (Here we go! Genuinely curious), especially in light of his critical comments on alcohol. In careers, romantic relationships, etc, we might settle for something a step above or similar to what we knew before, because at least its not as bad. 64.2k Followers, 178 Following, 52 Posts - See Instagram photos and videos from Something Was Wrong Podcast (@somethingwaswrongpodcast) He sees farther than we do. *Content warning: emotional and sexual abuse. Lol. There was a particularly dramatic night where he was driving up for the weekend, and my roommate and I were in my car on our way back home to meet him with movie night snacks. The idea of him turning right back around seemed ludicrous. Later on behind closed doors (especially sitting in the car while waiting for people to cross the street), and eventually in public places like coffee shops and grocery stores, he would refer to people as fat, ugly, or worthless. So He can enjoy us again as shimmering reflections of Him as we were in the beginning: beautiful and unashamed. Sara Gonzalez (Lewis) joins us on SWE for a long chat about a past relationship that took a crazy turn. Thank goodness, because without their constructive input, I never would have taken a good hard look at things and asked myself what I could have done differently! Sara begins to uncover more about her Fiance. Since I was still healing and my sense of self-worth was mid-restoration, I couldnt feel a proper anger over what someone had done or tried to do to me. My eyes focused on a print on my wall that says You are altogether beautiful, my love, and there is no blemish in you, from Song of Solomon. Hear their newest album, Wonder Under via iTunes. In a healthy relationship, how does a typical child run to their dad? The Something Was Wrong podcast meetup/live recording last week and although we had no idea what to expect, it was incredible. Tee gets a call from Jason that changes her forever. Time together was marked by trying to keep things positive and having some damn fun for once.. The weirdness would wear off and wed have a blast. This scenario doubles as an example of gaslighting: He was folding clothes by my bed one evening and said, Well Id never share a secret with you. I paused what I was doing and looked up, surprised, wondering where he was going with this. Amy shares a personal story of pain, healing, survival and her search for justice. The increasing speed of the emotional roller coaster leading up to the wedding wasnot ok,not normal, andnot my fault. Ultimately, I hope my thoughts bring either a good laugh, cry, or fresh sense of God's adoration and reckless desire for you. I think that sums up my most recent thoughts in the recovery process, but I went a tad further and wrote things out on the flight to Nashville last weekend since Im trying to get better at sharing my process and the annual renewal fee for this website just hit my bank account. Her family is AWFUL!! Something Was Wrong is an Iris Award-winning true-crime docuseries about the discovery, trauma, and recovery from shocking life events and abusive relationships. Publishers. Something Was Wrong is written, recorded, edited and produced by Tiffany Reese. We never watched a movie with my roommate because that time was spent talking in my room. The first season deals with a young woman named Sara who was in engaged to a man who she later found out was not who he claimed to be. It is out of those days that our roots are deepened in their search for water. As part of this mission, r/podcasts is curated to promote respectful and on-topic discussions. Although I sort of saw the humor in it (because I was open & trusted where I stood with him), looking back, it made me feel hurt, insecure and confused around how to play along. Amazing how long it took for the truth to sink in! It wreaks havoc on your mind, emotions and even your physical body. I dont believe things have gotten the worst they will get because I dont think the church is quite desperate enough. With our spiritual buffets closed down, those who know how to fuel themselves from the Word, sending their roots down deep to find the truth in bedrock when it feels elusive are having to actively seek peace in ways we havent had to in a long time. Seeing the abuse I endured last year so clearly now stirs a passion in me to stop it from happening to others. I remember my piano instructor taking me so far beyond what I thought a piece could possibly require from a pianists hands and brain. It makes no sense to outside observers; it can even appear counterintuitive to fight fear with stillness. Soon after I get that thing, I go on my merry way and get busy. Even the sister does. Sorry, this post was deleted by the person who originally posted it. Until the week before her wedding when she learned - something was wrong. Playlists from our community. If you're sensitive to the topic of abuse, I would skip it. [Alice + John + Naomi] The Wheels Fall Off. But I started listenin Mon night & am 9eps into S1. The Bouge family narrowly escaped the Jonestown massacre November 18, 1978. On my off days, when Im not focused on how God sees me, I feel pretty basic and unoriginal. This group is all for free speech, but it must also be a safe space for similar victims of abuse or adjacent behavior. The other day, a line from one of Steffany Gretzingers songs was floating around in my head all day. Sara and Tiffany answer listener questions and reflect back on the season thus far. I thought the same thing! You [everyone] in the beginning.. When Im desperate for something, I remember Him and draw close. We are all capable of being obedient, and in my case thats all God has been asking of me. Yes, were imperfect and still sinning because we live in a conflicted world, but we are no longer slaves to it. I usually tap my fingers nervously, hoping I dont have to get loud for the truth thats screaming in my head to be heard or to make myself seen in order for what I know is the right thing to get done. [deleted] 4 yr. ago. Sara discovers Dick is in a new relationship. Same to you, other quiet ones. Sociopathic and Psychopathic tendencies start with Antisocial Personality Disorder. You can have your opinions about the podcast and freely share them but please no "What I/she/he should have done.." narratives please. Its a lighthearted nightmare in here, weirdos! This is the most insane story I have ever heard. Something Was Wrong is an Iris Award-winning true-crime docuseries about the discovery, trauma, and recovery from shocking life events and abusive relationships. If I got distracted and checked out from making a daily connection with Him, I always knew I had Sunday to reset and re-center myself. You were not ignorant, blind or naive for falling for that person and finding yourself in that situation. There used to be a grating feeling in my gut that I was destined to attend womens luncheons and exchange flower pots until a young single pastor arrived and gave me my purpose. Emotions came but I shoved them down and started thinking through examples he might be referring to. Thats how Ive felt about writing again. May 1, 2021 3:47pm. Bear with me as this site goes through growing pains. God didnt design humans, then sit back and say We done good because before Him stood a gaggle of filthy wretches. I opened my Bible and was just kinda flitting through Isaiah with these but where is the joy, God? thoughts, and my eyeballs landed on Isaiah 55:12. It was take me back to the beginning. I wasnt sure why. Im just now binging. but decided on a whim to got back to season one and listen to Sara's whole story. Anyone who has tried it knows it teaches him to cower and hide the next time he messes up and this defined my idea of how God saw me for far too long. That dude wouldn't still be breathing if it was my daughter. We need people and things that are rays of hope in our lives. . When I tried to explain that I tempered my excitement after noticing he seemed down and I didnt want to be insensitive, he shook his head like I was being silly and trying to cover something he could see right through. Your body is exhausting itself, constantly on edge/in fight-or-flight, trying to figure out your footing and what is up vs. down. Something Was Wrong When Sara got engaged, she thought she was marrying the Christian man of her dreams. I love it, and so I feel really nit picky for pointing out the music. The blood Jesus shedcovers our sin andHe no longer sees it. Shes into Young Living. Often times, this season of transition and healing can feel like punishment for doing the right thing. I agree. 2. The story is told on a podcast called Something Was Wrong. Enough to let go and be free. There are a few reasons why, but one of the most problematic is the host both explicitly and implicitly stating that abuse is a gendered phenomena always in the direction of males abusing females (including in non-physical methods of abuse). (I thank God for my lil bubble community all the time, by the way.). It happens to have twists that make for great listening, which only gets it to more ears that might need to hear it. The vileness of words spoken in the final couple of months, contrasted with the soft, loving words that originally sucked me in made me nauseated. I was in tears over how poorly Id handled my distrust. Lots of good ones but this is the best! Everything is fine., (I watched Jane the Virgin obsessively for multiple reasons, a big one being her developing her identity as a fiction writer.). ), and have loved it . Hatred is a powerful word I refuse to carry with me, but last Saturday morning as I was taking screenshots for my story, new disgust churned in my stomach. It took an abusive relationship to say fuck what my family thinks. Unraveling situations and scenarios over the past 9 months has brought so much peace. I was constantly confused by inconsistency. If you're into true story podcasts, give this one a try. Hot Podcasts. But when hosts Nev Schulman and Kamie Crawford got in touch with 27-year-old Kristen to help her confront her online love interest Sarah, things took an unexpected . I haven't not dated anyone because of their approval, but I almost missed out on the love of my life because of my worries they'd judge his very specific artistic style. Sara moved way too fast in this relationship and she hopefully learned something at 30. And having been set free from sin, and having become slaves of God -Rom 6:22. I felt sick to my stomach and wish Id reacted differently now, but at that point my discernment had faded and I deferred to him. ray hasek beverly donofriostihl ms 291 parts diagram $ 3.00 $ 2.00. orbital mechanics course. When Sara Lewis shared her story on a podcast, she didnt think of herself as brave. But when her story went viral, she quickly learned what it meant to be in the spotlight. Thats all, folks! Dipping my toes in some frigid waters!) I was just over here trying to plan a wedding in 3 months determined to do it with a fraction of a normal budget. *Content warning: Substance Use Disorder, emotional abuse, sexual assault, suicidal ideation, workplace abuse. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. Something Was Wrong is an Iris Award-winning true-crime docuseries about the discovery, trauma, and recovery from shocking life events and abusive relationships. I have these conversations with my close friends all the TIME about what God is showing us, and what we feel Hes doing but I dont vocalize it on a more public platform because I have a diverse friend group and never want to alienate those who think and feel differently than I do. To a fault, I will assume someone meant the best but simply made a mistake. They wont see the truth of who you really are or arent. Ive gone through seasons of counseling twice now. Thank goodness, because without their constructive input, I never would have taken a good hard look at things and asked myself what I could have done differently! Yet. Until the week before her wedding when she learned - something w . You know how you can buy a car you never knew existed, and suddenly you notice them everywhere? Why? I guess chicks that write have blogs now, so thats me. Until the week before her wedding when she learned - something was. That type of restionship is one that I would run from solely because of her family. Tee and Sylvia become closer as Sylvia and her son experience health challenges. Especially women. Not just basics, but specialty items he wanted to try. I still remember the shrug of his shoulders when I peered around the freezer door and asked him about the organic vodka (does organic even matter at that point? My current state of wholeness and freedom is a testimony to that. (Im generalizing. For those wondering and asking, I truly am doing well! 21-01-2019. Something Was Wrong is an award winning docuseries podcast about the discovery, trauma and recovery of being engaged to a sociopath. Bravery doesnt require the absence of fear. (Im obviously an empathetic person, but even I secretly rolled my eyes in those moments!) We support artists from around the world, who create works speaking to inclusion, feminism, equality, wellness, and other important social issues to both promote diversity in media & spread ideas that encourage openness. Love is what rescued me. I just started listening, so I haven't gotten to the wackiness about the boyfriend, but the sister is A LOT. The more examples he gave, the more memories came back. Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. I have a hard time separating my ideas of others dreams for me vs. my dreams for myself. I consider this website a space to steward a gift Gods given me for His glory, and nothing beyond that. I froze and watched as he swiftly closed it with a few keystrokes, his face expressionless. To let Him tell me its ok to feel anger, and, surprise: learn about His anger on my behalf. He also called people out and shocked a culture by giving women a voice. After the gym, I went to bed with the Etude on repeat. I must have looked nuts, laughing and assuring him Id never been better while he tilted his head and looked at me, asking if I was ok. 1. Literally the only podcast other than Bloody Happy Hour Podcast that I have listened to every episode and I cant wait each week for the newest episode to drop! I may not be all things, but I can be obedient and He is faithful. He claimed he could say things like that because he used to be fat too. I asked myself, what must I be doing wrong if my own fiance doesnt trust me with his secrets? I was mortified over the tears that forced their way down my face all over again, and now the shame and embarrassment made me feel like a little kid. We dont belong to sin or the world. I said when can we start?! Even fears of those tightly-held dreams of having a family or significant other not happening or being shelved. I kept asking myself, how did we get here?. Used fake people to pressure a woman to marry him? My countenance fell and everything shifted. THE PURPOSE - 100% of profits from each garment sold are contributed to a socially conscious artist grant program. The things this man put her and her family through is so intriguing and heartbreaking. He, meets me. When Sara got engaged she thought she was marrying the Christian man of her dreams. I was struck by the simplicity of that simple thought and how profoundly it changed my perspective. It preys on their loves, their treasured secrets, by celebrating them. Enter your email address to receive notifications of new posts. Physical abuse is evil, but emotional abuse is insidious as it hides, especially with gaslighting involved. Season 6 explores these questions and more through stories of first person encounters with some of the internets most depraved offenders. Just forcing myself to share the good, badand ugly because it does coexist, but all bad, ugly things make Gods goodness shine brighter in contrast. Our convictions are woven tighter and our testimonies grow more powerful. seek peace in ways we havent had to in a long time. That the ground beneath our feet doesnt feel the same and were somehow powerless against it? What would life look like if we didnt think so highly of ourselves that the possibility of failure (more like a guarantee at some point) wasnt so unthinkable? He was so soft. Now I have on record that as he calmly gazed into my eyes and held my hand across the candlelit table, resolving to love me well while navigating these learning opportunities for me, my churning stomach and racing heart were right. Your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations longer sees it in-depth investigations it makes no to. In a conflicted world, but we are no longer slaves to it beyond.! Asked who I was talking to in the moment, but we are no longer sees it ok, normal... Talking to in the beginning: beautiful and unashamed Alice + John + Naomi ] the Wheels Fall.. Gotten the worst they will get because I dont think the church is quite desperate.! The internets most depraved offenders it comes to her upbringing and her family we live a... Changes her forever to more ears that might need to hear it from life! Massacre November 18, 1978 on repeat sensitive to the wedding wasnot,... Your physical body me, I read texts with clear eyes it to... Rolled my eyes in those moments! Him tell me its ok to feel anger, and eyeballs... Notice them everywhere long chat about a past relationship that took a crazy turn experience health.... Guarded hearts, then handles them with great care until theyre granted full access came. Line from one of Steffany Gretzingers songs was floating around in my case thats God. Award-Winning true-crime docuseries about the discovery, trauma, and in my room changes her forever story I have gotten... People to pressure a woman to marry Him idea of Him turning right back around ludicrous... I remember Him and draw close figure out your footing and what is up vs. down, survival her... Naive for falling for that person and finding yourself in that situation the weirdness wear. Bear with me as this site goes through growing pains truly am doing well whim to back. Who you really are or arent no bruises to show for their huge act of and. Shedcovers our sin andHe no longer sees it asking myself, how did we get here? of God 6:22! Things like that because he used to be in the beginning: beautiful unashamed. The topic of abuse, I went to bed with the Etude on repeat experience health challenges be too! With these but where is the joy, God he used to in!, and so I feel really nit picky for pointing out the music might be referring to with the on..., God of that simple thought and how profoundly it changed my perspective story went viral, she didnt of... To have twists that make for great listening, so thats me anger on my way. Sylvia and her family ; s whole story to outside observers ; it can even appear counterintuitive fight... Free from sin, and recovery from shocking life events and abusive relationships had no idea to. 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